上篇博客都是一周多前的事了。
这周挺累的。工作行程排得满满，周间傍晚也几乎没有一天是闲着的。好吧，除了周五，累得什么都不能做，只能受电视剧的引诱，看了整整3个小时的House MD……
突然在想，我们这个时代的人，有多少人能不受电视娱乐诱惑，来抚慰疲惫劳累的身心？只怕更多人是觉得这样并没有什么大碍，只要嗜好不妨碍平时的工作和生活。但我却不这么觉得。
或许也是因为我是一个特别容易上瘾的人。只要喜欢或者习惯某件事物，就会做个不停，即使筋疲力竭。这种品质用在与神交通、物理、数学、写博客、看书、思想上面，人就得到成长，心也得到真正的安抚和休息。用在咖啡上面，哈哈好吧，小心一点就是。但这个世界十分善于抓住瘾君子的把柄，它给我们娱乐视频、社交媒体……这些其实不过是吞噬并腐蚀身心的毒品。
节制是圣灵的果子。我想，我是该肯求圣灵赐我这份恩典，彻底摆脱这种恶习。
Came across a video that outlines a path to self-reflection, on how to orient one's mindset so that one becomes more motivated to make changes in life in a sustainable way. The gist is as follows:
1. to observe the A) current self, where you are in life, and imagine B) the ideal self -- both in a concrete way.
2. rank yourself from 1-10, to what degree are you like B).
3. consider the incentives that you may have to decide to just keep at A), and not chase after B).
4. imagine two roads going into the future, where there are two yous: one you just continues to be A) without making any changes in your life, and another you takes several steps towards the goal of becoming B).
i) Start with imagining the changes that will take place for the second you (moving towards B), in a week's time, three week's time, 3 month's time, a years time, and 2 and finally 3 years time.
ii) Lastly, do the same for the first you (continues on A).
I think this is an interesting exercise so I'm probably gonna do it over the next week. Check out the linked instructions, if you're interested too!
碎碎的片段，碎碎的心声，随意记录：
- Lethargy seeps into my bones. Despite sleeping 8 hours, and going back to my running routine, I'm still tired often. I wonder why.
- 中秋时期，总算是比较开心的日子。除了跟一些老同学见面以外，各种团契活动也是让周末排满。或许就是因为这样，所以累吧；虽然是开心，但社交的精力极速递减。
- 学生和同事从国外参加会议回来，收获满满。大家聚在一起吃零食，分享自己的经历；看着组员开开心心，我也是挺高兴的。
- 给学生设置了一个难度比较高的测验，他们叫苦连天，但许多人也觉得题目有趣。希望这样的体验给他们的学习生涯也留下一些难以磨灭的印象。我不希望学生觉得物理靠死记硬背就可以轻松过关，我更不希望给他们一个自以为已经掌握了物理的幻觉。物理是难的，无可否认。但它的难度系数却也是它有趣的一部分，把它过于简易化，则失去它的趣味和神秘了。
- 每周三家里都像是在开party似的，二三十几个学生绕着猫玩，偶尔闲话家常，气氛融洽。
- 周五又要回KL了。母亲啊母亲，真希望你早日恢复往日的生活；然而即使在这样的愁苦和黑暗中，我们仍是要陪伴你，并且赞美神。
This whole week was complete crap. It started because I missed one run due to the rain and decided to do HIIT instead. That led to muscle pain (I really should have foreseen this) and as a result I skipped the next two days of running. Even if I substituted it for longer treadmill walks, the effects were not as good. I had low energy for half of the week.
Furthermore, food wise there were several obstacles. Firstly, on Tuesday students asked me to have dinner with them. I originally said I would bring my own food, but then due to time constraints for meal prep I was tempted to eat with them. Very bad choice. Then, on Wednesday there was a town hall meeting. I originally decided against eating dinner, but was tempted by the buffet. You'd think, as long as one controls on quantity, it shouldn't hurt. The food also tasted so good — after all, it’s oily, fatty, packed with spices. But soon I learnt my lesson — after two months of clean eating, apparently my stomach can no longer handle this type of food. I went to bed with a queasy feeling in the gut, and woke up at 3am with cold sweat due to gastric pain. Sleep was subsequently ruined, leading to an even worse day where I slip back to old binging habits, and spent the entire evening browsing videos.
Fortunately, I'm back on the running track starting this morning onward. Moral of the week?
1. DON’T SKIP RUNNING — don’t even substitute it with other forms of exercise for now, not even if it rains.
2. WHEN YOU PLAN TO NOT EAT OUT, DON’T GIVE IN TO THE TEMPTATION — it simply doesn’t pay to slack off. And by the way, no more eating out for you for the whole of September.
3. A FOOLPROOF EMERGENCY ESCAPE & DE-STRESS PLAN IS IN HIGH DEMAND — the question is, what is convenient, easily motivating, doable anywhere and anytime, and healthy & constructive? I mean, I do have proper escape plans like blogging and writing in my notebooks, except that they kick in only when I'm not too weak. When my will is sufficiently weakened by exhaustion or stress or discouragement, then they don't work properly anymore. After thinking about this for a while, I decided that whenever I catch myself tempted to binge, the escape plan would be to just get out of the house for a full walk round the campus, with headphones jamming on Mayday.
回到KL简直是减肥良机。只要看到母亲，胃口、饥饿感瞬间全无。Anyway，回来总是好的。看老爸的样子，已经快要忍不下去了。如果老爸也垮，我和老弟就真不知道怎么办才好了。
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最近家猫每周都有许多粉丝来找它玩。小家伙开心死了，跟粉丝们玩来玩去；我兴致勃勃地做了一些卡片给粉丝们，惹得大家特别高兴，闹着每周要来收集新的卡片。额，慢着，我什么时候答应过每周要做了？>.<
好吧，反正也不耗我多少时间。小朋友们高兴就好。
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最近心血来潮，觉得那么多年没有看见过秋天了，特别想去看看它。秋一直是我最喜欢的季节，在荷兰、柏林的时候，每逢秋天，我整个人就变成了小孩，穿梭在树叶堆种，奔驰在自行车道上，漫步在树林或公园里，用力地把阳光、秋风深深吸入心中。秋天的花草总是凋零，但我，总是快乐。
一做决定要再访秋天，就开始兴致勃勃地安排行程了，想着究竟应该去哪里玩儿好呢？结果同事们一个个说，“不如你去首尔拜访KIAS吧？”，“不如来名古屋一起工作吧？”，“嘿嘿，东京这里travel funding很多，可以拜访RIKEN，要来不？”
额，诱惑简直不要太大！！我指的是把心中秋天之行，跟工作绑在一起的诱惑……
其实在我心里，秋天是诱惑，物理和数学更是 :P
最近家里的事让我有了觉悟：人还是必须把生活里的七零八碎砍掉，集中一些，去做真正该做的事，维持身体该有的健康和体魄。
于是，砍掉睡懒觉的时间，拿去跑步，精神突然就变好了。砍掉不想做的工作，拿去读学术文章，工作的心情突然就变好了。砍掉多余的教会活动，拿去灵修、学习、集中精神崇拜，心灵也平静了。砍掉无聊刷网络和视频的习惯，拿来翻翻书架上的书本，还有早睡，感觉生活充实了。砍掉没有营养的零食，开始节食减肥，吃正规并营养的食物，不知怎的，没有以前那么经常饿或馋嘴了。
自律真是一件很好的事。如果我真能在一切事，思想，言语，行动上都能长期维持这样，多好。或许有些人会觉得机械化，无趣；但其实不是的，那些所谓有趣的琐事其实说穿了不过就是短暂吸引人眼球的东西，尤其是在这个消费主义、广告猖狂的时代，大多吸引人的事情都只是博人眼球。它们束缚我们，而非使我们自由；它们消耗我们的精力，却并不能带来真正持久的享受。
人的脑袋、精力、体力，与其拿去消耗在一些有的没的，还不如多拿去探索美好世界中的无限可能 :)
